slimydad:

matching icons for you and your friends that smell like beef

(via yowhosedogisthat)

I want people to be scared of how small my dick is.
Think ur safe dating a midget? nah son my small dick perfect size for her.
I’m gonna fuck an ant and it’ll boast about my raw stamina.

I want people to be scared of how small my dick is.

Think ur safe dating a midget? nah son my small dick perfect size for her.

I’m gonna fuck an ant and it’ll boast about my raw stamina.

my main goal is to be feared.

The most awkward part of my evening was asking a woman why she thinks it’s ok that men touch other women without asking them first.

She finished Uni whilst I virtually failed highschool.

On a did u know note, I was excluded from my French, German, Math, and English classes for almost a full year and I had to beg my French teacher to let me take the exam so that I could get enough GCSEs to go to college, which I also failed.

One of the wildest bits about my relationship is that my girlfriend’s job is to make deals with major oil companies and various rich and famous people across Canada, whilst my job is essentially to scare drunk people into behaving like sober people.

(Source: hazysloth, via sigsauer-ist)

tacticalzergface:

REBLOGGING IT AGAIN BECAUSE FUCK YOU

remember when I created this because I don’t.

(Source: unsubstantiatedrumors, via dirty-gunz)

Six selfies.

Have you heard of The Lord and saviour Max Payne?

Have you heard of The Lord and saviour Max Payne?

whiskey-weather:

mcmuph1n:

This woman is an elected official. This statement should scare the shit out of everyone.

For some reason people keep voting for her. This woman is a treasonous pile of shit and her heart attack can’t come soon enough. Sorry not sorry, she is the worst.

whiskey-weather:

mcmuph1n:

This woman is an elected official. This statement should scare the shit out of everyone.

For some reason people keep voting for her. This woman is a treasonous pile of shit and her heart attack can’t come soon enough. Sorry not sorry, she is the worst.

(via dirty-gunz)

I can hear some guy in one of the surrounding apartment buildings trying to kick someone out of his house and all I can hear is “GET OUT, GET YOUR OWN APARTMENT, I DON’T CARE WHERE YOU GO JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE”.

Goddamn this game is pretty sometimes.

Time to party again.

Time to party again.

edpoint:

You can learn a lot from other people’s success. They even leaves us a map to fallow every now and then.

Ed